Change is hard - pt. 1
Change is hard. Yes, I know I'm stating the obvious for many of you, but hear me out.
When I say 'change is hard', I'm not just talking about the gut-wrenching, soul shaking, heavy and hard changes. I'm also talking about the doors-opening, dreams-fulfilled, happy and exciting changes.
I say this often to my clients and I'll say it to you now: all change - even good change - brings loss.
Collectively, we tend to overlook that good change can be just as difficult as hard change. Here are some examples of good change and the losses it could bring:
- Buying or renting a new home - As exciting as the new place may be, this could also mean feelings of sadness when losing the old house, neighbourhood, neighbours, or the collection of memories you have built there. It may mean having to find a new coffee shop, a new commute, or this change could even trigger feelings of anxiety as you take on new expectations such as a mortgage or higher rent.
- Taking on a new job or promotion - This change could mean losing coworkers, friendships built, losing the old routine or commute, and possibly losing the confidence and security held in your previous role.
- Engaging in a new relationship - This could mean losing certain friends or even family members. Adding a person to your life could also mean a significant change in routine, sharing space, or sharing time. For some, it could also be a bittersweet loss of being 'single'.
- Breaking up with a partner - Even if those breakups are for the best, losing that person can be difficult. It could mean navigating those anxious 'what-if's', a sudden gain in time and independence, and sadness with the loss of companionship, even if the company was not great.
Every single one of these examples could be exciting changes in life, and that should be celebrated!
I want to start talking about honouring these experiences holistically by acknowledging the grief and loss that can come with change, even good change. Above are just a few examples - do you have any examples of change you'd like to share?
Navigating the grief and loss that come with change is the topic of our next post - stay tuned!